The Unexpected Tale
For those who have been following my story about why I went to Ibiza you will know that the main reason I went was for a pair of boots from Emonk Ibiza. Ahh but the story was so much more than that as I began to realise the law of attraction, synchronicity and symbolism was really what was at play and I just need to trust the process of the bigger picture. So here is how my Ibizan Adventure unfolded with all the twist and turns and revelations learnt along the way.
As I get on my flight from Rome to Ibiza the hostesses name was Angeles, I nice little sign to reassure me that the Angels were with me. I couldn't get a direct flight from Sicily to Ibiza so I had flown from Catania to Rome, then Rome to Ibiza. As I waited at baggage claim in Ibiza airport and more and more people claimed their bags, I started to panic slightly as mine was nowhere in sight. Just as I felt my nerves getting the better of me thinking my luggage might be lost in the transfer, a girl in front of me turns around and her top says " Its All Right". Pretty cool i'm thinking as I take a relaxing deep breath and then POP...my bag comes into sight. The magic had already begun!
I had organised to do a retreat whilst I was in Ibiza with Kirsty Gallagher called Autumn Equinox Goddess Retreat (full blog on my retreat to come shortly). I hired a car with my retreat room mate Hayley so we could get around in between retreat activities to do what we like... such as getting my boots. I decided to venture into town on the tuesday to go to the Emonk Ibiza store and one of the ladies on retreat with me, Emma, asked to join me. I was thankful to have someone with me to help navigate me and generally enjoy the experience with. So we set of with our directions and we had the GPS on Emmas phone to also help guide us so I was feeling good about getting there. Fast forward 90minutes later, now keeping in mind it only should of taken us 30mins to get into town, and things were not feeling great. We were given the advice to go was in a certain marina to find the store which turned out not to be correct. We parked the car and started walking the streets to try and find the shop all the while I was busting to go to the toilet and Emma was feeling faint and needed some food. It soon became apparent that we were not in the right place. We than decided to try Ibiza Town as Emma was sure she had seen something similar to my boots. Already frazzled and in as state of exhausted alertness we got into town and the GPS was sending us into tiny streets doing a circle. I was feeling myself pushing in desperation to make this thing happen and it didn't feel great. I was looking around wide eyed at the street name when we suddenly hear a BAM! I had hit my side rear view mirror on a parked car causing it to snap in towards the car. There was no damage but this event alone caused me to shut down completely and I said "Emma we are going home, I'm done". I started thinking , they are only boots, what does it matter, if it is going to be this hard then i'm not interested. I just wanted things to be easy, and why couldn't they be easy...ahhh. Not happy!
By this time everyone on my retreat was aware of the Boot story so when I got back they said "Where are the shoes?" I told them briefly the story with a glumish look on my face and my room mate Hayley said " Didn't you say they were at the Hippie Market? You know we are going there tonight, so you can get them then." The colour returned to my face and I was like "Oh brilliant . Ok great, but you are driving Hayley" How did I put myself through all that when we were going to the markets tonight anyway hahaha. I definatley needed a nap to reset myself.
All the girls piled into our cars and headed to Las Dalias the famous hippy markets in Ibiza. It was very exciting as i was with all the girls and i just love exploring markets. We only had an hour at the market to have a good look around so it was every women for herselfand I was confident I would find the stall I was after. When I first caught a glimps of the Emonk stall it was like recognising an old friend. I was nervous, excited and happy and I took a little pause to take in the fact that I was actually here, all the way from Australia. I was like a bug to a light being drawn to shoes and I had to reach out and touch them to make sure it was real. A lovely lady approached me and offered to help me and I was straight into trying all the boots on. I told her that I had written a blog about the boots I loved them so much. Then I noticed a gentleman working in the store and I thought that has the be Leo one of the designer. In the midst of trying on shoes and hats I caught his eye and asked if he was the designer which he replied yes. I said to him " Hi , Im Natalie from Australia, I wrote a blog about your shoes" He gave me one of the nicest warmest hugs I have ever received and was genuinely happy to see me. His partner Virginia was unwell so she wasn't at the stall that night but he insisted on calling her to let her know I was there. I then got on the phone and had a lovely chat with Vir and we decided in a few days time we would meet at the store and try on a wider selection of boots and then share stories over a drink. Leo explained how they had been touched by reading my story and I was in turn touched by their touchedness ( I don't think that is a word). It was such a beautiful feeling of connectedness of our stories from other sides of the world and through an unlikely source. I loved it! I had come for the boots but I was falling in love with everything and I was wearing one of their wonderful hats as I was trying on the shoes. I asked Leo if he could bring it to the store when we meet up because I think I was in love and would like the hat as well.
Leo: " I would like you to have the hat".
Me: "No" . That's right my first word in response to his gesture was NO and it was kind of strong No too. Seeing Leos facial reaction made it even more obvious how strange this had been for me to say. It made me quickly go in my head 'wow what the f@!k did you just say'.
Leo:" NO? you don't want the hat?" he looked at me confused
ME: " I meant to say, are you serious?"
Leo: "Yes it looks great on you, we want you to have it"
Me :" THANK YOU! I absolutely love it!" I got there in the end. We shared another grateful hug or two and we agreed to be in touch on Thursday and meet up.
I walked away with my new hat on my head and so filled up from the experience I couldn't look or really take in any other shop. I was just in a stunned state and wandering around with a big smile on my face. When I met back up with the girls they were like 'Are you ok? hey nice hat! did you find the shoe place?. '
There is a time to Give and a time to Receive
It took me a while to snap out of it and when I did I started thinking why had I said No. Why was that my first reaction to a lovely gesture No? What part of me is so quick to say No to receiving? I started thinking when I meet up with them I have to give them something. Maybe I'll give them a reading or give them a gift. I need to do something, because surely I am not enough. And that is what it boils down to, I didn't feel I was enough. I didn't feel worthy in that moment and I was not comfortable to receive because I didn't feel I was enough. I felt I needed to display more value to make it a good experience for Leo and Vir. WOW Ummm that's a bit of a surprise self realisation out of simple experience, but it message was strong and demonstrated so clearly. I think a lot of us can relate to this on some level whether you are someone who is quick to reject a compliment or someone who gives and gives and gives to others thinking it is the path to fulfilment but we forget to give to ourselves. You are then left feeling so depleted that no amount of receiving is enough to fill the gap you have created. Maybe culturally we have lead ourselves to believe it isn't the right way and that we should always be giving but I believe the message has been confused. We forget to give to ourselves because maybe we think it will be perceived as selfish, I think its different for everyone. I see now is that receiving is such a precious thing. Gestures of kindness, compliments and magical moments are sent to us to help remind us of our true magic. They are to be held in keep for moments when you may need to draw upon your magic in harder times. If you deplete yourself by over giving and deflect or block the act of receiving, you just perpetuate the cycle of not feeling fulfilled. When you are fully open to receiving, than you experience the miracles. Because that what it is, a divine moment to be accepted with gratitude so you can see yourself as the miracle that you are. And that maybe why it can be hard to receive because if we are actually saw ourselves in this glorious miracle that we are, then we just might have to start really stepping up in our lives to our fullest and brightest potential.
So the story continues...
Leo had kindly given me his contact number so we could organise out meet up with Vir on the Thursday. I phoned ahead on the Wednesday to give them a heads up when I would be arriving but the phone line was busy both times. Oh this is not good, how will I let them know when I'll be there? All good i will shoot them a messenger on the facebook page. I let them know I would be at the store on Thursday at noon and i look forward to seeing them then. I gotreply from the store saying 'that's great I'll let them know'. PERFECT! A new friend from the retreat Jayne had seen the shoes in another shop not realising they were the same ones I was in love with them and decided to join me as she wanted to get her own pair. I was thrilled another person dare join me on this adventure after last attempt but we were much better informed and things were organised this time so I felt good. We arrived in the right place and found the shop with ease but as i looked in there was no Leo and no Virginia. I asked the shop assistant if they were in the shop today...she said no. Insert panic. Ok, let me give them a call and see if I can get through. Leo answered and explained he had not received my messages as its usually only at midday he receives the online messages and he also couldn't come in that day. I was gutted because I had in my mind how the day was going to go and now it was quickly loosing its shine. I had to make the choice to go ahead with trying on the shoes because our retreat schedule meant that it was really my last opportunities to get them. So I tried on pair after pair of the boots and none of them were singing to me. I kept on trying more and still not getting that feeling. This cant be happening! oh my lord. Jayne was looking at me and she just knew i wasn't feeling it. I again found myself in a place where I had to look at the situation and make a decision how I was going to allow myself to feel. I could let the negative emotions take over and shut down or I can remain open to things being different and going with the flow of that. I decided to try on the sandal version of the shoes which had never really appealed to me before but I saw a pair that had a green stone on the front of them and they stood out to me. I decided to give them a go and PING! These are the ones! YAY! to my surprise because i never even planned to get anything but the boots but the sandals were beautiful. Plus it totally made more sense that i get sandals for the Australian Climate it means i will get much better wear out of them.
Things don't always go to plan, but its all part of the plan
Despite all the effort to organise to meet up it just didn't work out. Even after i extended my time in Ibiza for another two days, I still didn't manage to meet up with Leo and Virginia(dam Mercury Retrograde). In the end what I learnt is that i got what i really need, in shoe and in lessons. The sandals were perfect and unexpectedly so. I had expectations on the day that it would be a certain way with a certain outcome but on that day the universe had other plans. I was saddened when Leo and Virginia weren't there and then when the boots were connecting with me I was fretting thinking 'ohh my god they gave me a hat and now I am not going to buy anything, they will think I am a crook'. ha ha. I felt myself closing down because it wasn't 'working out' but then I thought, am I really going to let this rob me of the joy of this moment, I'm in Ibiza for godsake. In that situation I had to trust the path even though it wasn't making sense why it was so difficult for me to do something that seemed so simple. I was been blocked because I had to learn something that I am obviously going to need for what's coming up ahead for me. I may not be able to understand this straight away but if I can have trust the process, see the gifts and remain open to something new than I am flowing with the universe rather than resisting it.
The universe is always sending us situation so we can work through our most pressing issue and the unresolved aspects of ourselves. Our job is to be open to the awareness of this occurring so we can see it for the gift it is. These seemingly everyday scenarios are seeking to help us shed layers of our self that are old and redundant so we can create a shift and see things in a new and liberating light. That's what enlightenment is. Life simple works to teach us what we are holding on to and what we need to let go of in order to live the fullest and greatest life we can.
After all that, I can truly say that Ibiza was a trip of a life time. I met amazing people who embraced me whole heartedly and it gave me a place to really look at myself and explore my shadow aspects as well. The whole trip fuelled me in unspeakable way and I'm so thankful for all the amazing magical moments.